If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
