u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
