Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
