she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
