That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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