OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
