turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
