but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize