So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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