i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
