At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You made out with two different species that night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
