She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
