Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
