Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
