At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
