Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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