so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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