Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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