well I can't set my house on fire every night
its not stalking. its research.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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