do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
