All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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