I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
