I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
