White coat. Heels.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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