Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
