I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
