I'm lost and stupid without you.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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