Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
