Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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