Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
