i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize