I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize