Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
