I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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