I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
