We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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