I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
