i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
