even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
