He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
