so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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