Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
