hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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