..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
