Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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