trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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