i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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