Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We smell like vodka and hangover
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