dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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