Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
