But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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