didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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