I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
