Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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