big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
