I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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