There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dicks are not precious.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
