What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
