I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
