i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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