why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize