you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
