They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
