How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize