Having a random hookup so left but love u
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This is my gift to your gina
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
