If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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