everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
