Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
