Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize