Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
