Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
