Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
