Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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