I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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