It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You took a bar mat shot.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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