wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
