I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
