thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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