Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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